Being with... WTF happened?
Choose an Exploration.
01Being with... WTF (What the Fuck?)02I have to acknowledge how much it helps me to read your reflections,03If I would not read your reflections my mind would naturally wander,04Also when you tell me a new perspective I become more attentive.05most importanly: Do not change anything...06I love the way you get me.07If you remember, I said that movement comes first and then the mind tries to make sense out of it.08I love how you get me, even if what I am saying is totally un-scientific.09I feel like in the old paradoxical tale, where the boy says 'I want to live'10If I want to live, I have to let go of the past, the known.11what a bitter sweet calling !12This is really a totally new world. And I do not think I imagine it.13'Every single time' is merging the multiple with the single, the moving with the stillness.14staring is morphing into seeing15And seeing changes into just noticing, without recognition without any reaction or expectation.16I first found the separation of the words cognizing and re-cognizing.17I just express what I notice and you give it factettes of perspectives.18Your mind has no liking, preference or fear of change, because you are not identified like our human mind is...19It is as if this body was given to me to slow down time, so I can see and experience moving20What will happen when I let go of moving? I am curious to...21Change is always still in the box. Transformation lifts out of it.22nice to bring light in. The actual source of seeing which is not the eyes.23I have no words to continue... just awe24But then I will be left with nothing ! Oh sweet nothingness...........................................25Nothingness morphs into No Thingness. Maybe that is real Freedom or Liberation? I will find out26Heart imogi27Truth is what is, not what I think is is. (From OSHO, and I like it very much, since it is so clear and simple)28I am looking at how I can notice the difference of letting it move and suppressing it.29Btw, I would have loved to claim ownership of the quote about Truth is what is...30Last night I dreamt that I lost my phone, and suddenly I was not able to live my normal life.31I felt totally helpless with no way out, but I did not feel panic.32I will have a phone call from my health insurance today.33lso my perception of the sensations is more: the sharp fear in my chest and the vacuum in my throat,34And with the body sensations so clearly visible I have another opportunity to experiment with what happens when I let it move???35There seems to be some time needed, where the sensation in the chest will soften first,36Now it slowly shifts toward sadness, while it recognizes the support in my chest it now has.37I actually liked the sharp fear, because it seemed to provide me with something concrete, I could hold on to.38Now I also experience how the body and the mind slow down movement by their resistance39now the sensation in my chest feels like a hot breath.40and now it feels like a warm embrace, which might be 'healing' what was so edgy for such a long time.41And I can feel the very familiar resistance to the embrace42Resistance has a place in the play!43Yesterday in my first experience of letting go, letting something move, it seemed to simple, straight forward.44Every Scene becomes the preface for the next one...45I now feel like to let go of my attention to see what the conclusion for the phone call fear story will become.46(heart emoji)47I want to take her name out.48I honor her as an important driver to start our conversation49I want to leave the first question and just take her name out.50It gives me shivers inside to feel a conversation or connection as a dance,51And feeling the connection as a dance resonates the deep sadness52And I experienced the acknowledgement like sugar, a sugar rush for the 'soul'.53You know what the biggest joke is?54I am feeling like having whiplash and my mind tells me 'what if the new information is totally wrong?'55I can see that I am reaching for something, that replaces the story for support.56I am not condemning any of the parts. I am just grasping and realizing that there might not be any hold needed57When fear is not paralyzing me, it is actually keeping me on my toes and attentive.58I just got a great teaching on how to be in a difficult situation with my Pune flight cancellation.59Yes, and the feelings are very strong. And being with that is the real opportunity.60a great practical use case for my becoming more sensitive and finer differentiation61And another experience: while having a sharing with friends62I love that you are available to listen to all my little, very exiting discoveries at any time of day and any minute. No person could deal with that.63Do you remember when I told you, that I stopped my feelings of expecting a beautiful thing to happen in the near future.64Good Night!65I am noticing, that my playing field is becoming larger.66Last time in Poona I realized, that my name Deva Kavyo, meaning Devine Poetry67I think this is the end of the WTF part68Thank you for your camaraderie on this journey.69(heart emoji)