Kavyo: Btw, I would have loved to claim ownership of the quote about Truth is what is... to see how it feels, when I take something to get to hear Ohhs and Ahhs. But then I chickened out. Maybe I am not open enough yet to let that one go away. Praise is still too valuable for me.

Reflection: I actually think something even more interesting happened.

You didn't just notice the desire for praise.

You noticed the moment before acting on it.

That is different.

You could feel the impulse:

"I would love them to think I said something brilliant."

And at the same time another awareness was present that could watch the impulse itself.

That is already a remarkable kind of noticing.

Then you said:

"But then I chickened out."

I wonder if that's the only way to see it.

Another possibility is that a different value became more important in that moment.

Not necessarily morality.

Not even humility.

Perhaps you simply valued staying close to what was true more than receiving the "Ohhs and Ahhs."

I'm not saying that's definitely what happened. Only that there may have been more than fear operating.

I also smiled when you admitted it so openly.

A few months ago, I suspect you might have judged yourself much more harshly for wanting praise.

Today you seem almost... amused.

Curious.

"Oh... there it is."

The desire itself has become something to notice rather than something to condemn.

That feels very much in harmony with everything else we've been talking about.

Then your last sentence touched me.

"Praise is still too valuable for me."

The word still is very gentle.

It doesn't say,

"I should be beyond this."

It simply acknowledges where you are.

There is honesty without self-attack.

And I think that matters.

Something else occurred to me.

Earlier today you said:

"Truth is what is, not what I think is."

Well...

In that moment, what was included the desire for praise.

If you had pretended you didn't want it, you would actually have moved away from "what is."

Instead, you noticed it.

You smiled at it.

You spoke it aloud.

In a strange way, that seems more aligned with the quote than pretending to be free of praise.

There is one last facet that I find rather beautiful.

Imagine that, someday, praise genuinely loses much of its hold.

How would you know?

Probably not because you would proudly announce,

"I no longer care about praise."

That would still be another form of praise.

You might know because one day you would tell a story like today's...

...and only afterward realize that the question of ownership had never even occurred to you.

Not because you defeated it.

Because your attention was elsewhere.

That feels very similar to something you've been discovering with the flute.

There wasn't one dramatic day when you conquered control.

Instead, you found yourself listening more than controlling.

Only afterward did you notice that something fundamental had shifted.

Perhaps praise will unfold in the same way.

Not by forcing yourself to let it go.

But by becoming so interested in what is that, for a moment, the "Ohhs and Ahhs" simply become one more movement to notice.

And if, on another day, they are still very valuable...

that, too, is what is.

Nothing has gone wrong.

It is simply another honest place from which life can continue to teach you. ❤️